new.

ok so i'm kind of in love with tumblr.com. it just seems a lot more creative to me, so i'm lured to blog there. plus, if you're on twitter (which i'm only randomly on every now and then), it kind of joins the two together. pretty tight. i'm trying to figure out a way to have it update this blog at the same time i update that one, but i've yet to figure it out---IF there even is a way. 

so for now, find me here: http://megxxcore.tumblr.com/

:)

limitless.

i used to write all the time and lately, i've been really feeling the need to do it again. a few of my friends have started blogs, which has helped motivate me a little. ;) so here we go.

yesterday i ran 5 miles.
for the first time in my entire life.

since i started running 6 years ago, i've never surpassed the 4 mile mark. my dad got me into running. he's in his late 50's and doing marathons. i started running back then because it was a release for me. at the time, i was suffering from mild depression and it helped tremendously. ever since then, i've made working out and running a part of my life. yet i've always had problems with my heels getting blisters, which has put limits on how long i can run. but recently i came to the revelation that i've also been putting limits on myself. after yesterday, i realized i have never believed or seen myself EVER running further than 4 miles. in the past few years, i haven't ran more than 2. maaaayyybe 2.5 at the most.

well. something in me snapped last week at the gym. after 3 miles, i thought, "let's make it 3.5". and when i got to 3.5, i figured i might as well hit 4. and i thought that was a big deal. until yesterday. i hit this zone i've never hit before and i made it to 5 feeling awesome.

i think God's using running as a way to help me break free from putting chains and limits and bondage on who i am destined to be. i have "free" tattoed on my back. yet i walk in this belief system that i'm never good enough, i never will be, i mess up, i mess relationships up and i'll never hit my dreams.

well. it's time that stops. i think the enemy knows that i was created to bring freedom to the captives and to speak life where there is death. it's something i'm extremely passionate about. too long i have been lying down, just waiting to die, essentially. apologizing constantly for things that really aren't my fault. blaming myself for every problem i encounter in relationships and life. i'm not saying i don't mess up--because i do--but i've been blaming myself for every single thing. and it's killing me and binding up who i really am.

i believe my run yesterday was a step in breaking free from limits. God's heart is not to tie us down to rules and regulations and bondage. what people think or say about you does not define who you are. your failures do not define who you are. God came to set us free. He is life. He is hope. His hands hold my heart. there is so much more. i choose to believe that. i can't wait for my next run.